LIVE With No Regrets: Risk Being Viewed as a Fool When the Stakes Are High
I don't want to look back on my life and regret the chances I never took, the dreams I never pursued. I want to arrive at the end of my journey, dusty and battered, knowing that I gave it my all. That I was brave enough to risk looking like a fool, to embrace the uncertainty and vulnerability that come with pursuing your passions.
I don't want to wonder what could have been if I had only been brave enough speak up, to stand out, to share my feelings, or to take a risk.
At the end of my life, I want God to say, "You kept me busy, girl. You kept me busy with your prayers. You kept me busy protecting you. You let me use you.”
Listen to this week’s podcast in the player above or anywhere you listen to podcasts!
I have been thinking about this idea of “what are you willing to look stupid for?”
I want you to think about what you're willing to look like a fool for. I don’t want you to live life on the sidelines, to do things halfway, to wonder “what would have happened if….?”
If there's one thing I hope to inspire in others, it's the willingness to take a risk. To pursue their dreams with reckless abandon, even if it means looking foolish or failing spectacularly. Because we are all here for a purpose. And if we don't embrace that purpose with everything we've got, we risk missing out on something truly extraordinary.
When we take that leap of faith, we open ourselves up to incredible opportunities and experiences that we never would have had otherwise.
If you're feeling that fire stirring inside of you, don't ignore it. Embrace it. Lean into the discomfort and the uncertainty. Because who knows where it might lead you. And who knows what kind of impact you might have on the world.
You are here for a purpose
I believe that we are all here for a purpose. And that purpose might not always be clear or easy to define. But when we embrace our passions, when we lean into the discomfort and uncertainty of pursuing our dreams, we begin to uncover that purpose.
If you're feeling that fire stirring inside of you, don't ignore it. Embrace it. Lean into the discomfort and the uncertainty. Take a risk and pursue your dreams with everything you've got. Who knows where it might lead you, or what kind of impact you might have on the world.
And when you do, don't be afraid to look foolish. Don't be afraid to fail. Because in the end, what matters most is that you gave it your all. That you were brave enough to pursue your dreams, no matter how uncertain or difficult the path might seem.
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I love you guys so much. I'm so thankful for you. I thank you for everything that you're doing, every ounce of support. I thank you from the bottom of my heart. Love you guys.
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TRANSCRIPT:
Rachel Joy Baribeau [00:00:00]:
What in your life are you willing to look stupid for? What are you willing in your life to be annoying to people about? I would much rather feel too much and have the sensitive heart than not feel enough or not be in touch with my emotions. I don't want to look back in my life and say I did it halfway. I was scared. I sat on the sidelines.
Hello, Joystarters. Hope you are having the greatest day. And if you're not, I hope this is your dose of joy that gets you through your day. All right.
Rachel Joy Baribeau [00:00:39]:
Rachel Joy Baribeau here. If you have been passed off, if somebody shared this podcast, which, by the way, that is your reminder to share, share, share. My name is Rachel Joy Baribeau and I'm the founder of I'm Changing the Narrative and author woo woo of upcoming book Relentless Joy that's coming in 27 days. It might be different days when you listen to this podcast, but for me it's coming in 27 days and it's available wherever books are sold. I feel very sing songy today and it's because I got all the feels all the emotions, right. Lots and lots of stuff going on. But I want to share a couple of stories, highlights what we have going on and hopefully you'll get involved if you feel so moved.
So here's kind of the theme for this week and it is, what are you willing to look like a fool for? What are you willing to look stupid for? I recorded this video the other day, and I have yet to post it, but it was talking about promotion of the book, and the gist of it was that if you are consuming my social media, if you follow me, or if the algorithm happens to keep putting me in front of you, which the algorithms on these dang social media channels, it's like, wow, okay.
Rachel Joy Baribeau [00:01:57]:
I see her stuff every single day. Or I see his stuff every single day. And so if you are, and you've been seeing me a lot and notice that I am talking about my book every single day, that is with good reason. Because I have worked so dang hard. I have worked so incredibly hard on this book that I am to the point where I'm willing to look like a fool for it. I'm willing to look like an absolute idiot for this book. And there is lies the question that I have for you is what are you willing to look like a fool for? Like, I don't want to get 27 days from now when the book launches and wish I would have asked that person to help me. I wish I would have asked that person to collaborate.
Rachel Joy Baribeau [00:02:49]:
I wish I would have sent that email. I wish that would have happened. I talk about this in the book. That regret is a nasty bedfellow and to me it's one of the most avoidable emotions. My father passed away a couple of years before my mom, and I was not the woman that I am today. And while I was an evolving woman and evolving, we're all evolving, right? Like, I was better than I was a couple of years previous. I still was very self centered, very much about me, very party Rachel, very social Rachel. And my father lived three, four hours down the road, and I barely saw him.
Rachel Joy Baribeau [00:03:28]:
Now, granted, I was busy, but I was too self absorbed to go down and spend time with my dad when he got sick very quickly and then passed away very quickly and he died alone. I had a massive amount of guilt about that, a massive amount. And I didn't tell anybody. And because of it, it ate me alive, literally from the inside out. And it was until I literally met an angel in a waiting room that I never met before that looked at me and said, what are you holding it in? Why are you holding it in? I'm like, what are you talking about? Like, what are you talking to me? Like, what do I know? You so weird. And I recognized she was looking at my soul. She saw it. Why are you holding it in? Very soon after, I ended up going to therapy, which, by the way, reminds me I need to make my therapy appointment this week.
Rachel Joy Baribeau [00:04:19]:
Therapy is my jam. Helps me understand myself and makes me a more well rounded person and helps me understand my crazy and why I do what I do. Big advocate for therapy. Just FYI, I've done the tango with regret, and I want to teach you not to do it. And so I just said to myself in writing this book and then promoting this book, which has been like, a full time job, it has. I've been off the road. I've been promoting the book.
Rachel Joy Baribeau [00:04:53]:
These amazing friends of mine have started this book launch club, which it's not too late to join if you're going to be out of town anytime in the next 27 days. You can pop out and pop in as needed. We'll link that in the show notes, but there's a book launch team, and then there's these influencer boxes that are going out to, like, 40 of the most influential people that I know that will share with their networks. There are bulk orders I want to give everybody at the Lovelady Center a Christian halfway house where I've been sharing my testimony for the past ten years. I want to give every woman in there a copy of this book when I go there the Sunday after my book launches, right? And so it's been a job, and I knew it was going to be a job, but I didn't realize how much of a job it was going to be. And I'm grateful for it right there are some people that put out a book and make a few posts about it, and that's what they do. And that's kind of the extent of it. That is not me.
Rachel Joy Baribeau [00:05:42]:
It's never been my personality. I'm very driven. People have called me a workaholic in the past. I'm not a workaholic. I am passionate, and I'm grateful for that passion. I also saw a post the other day, and this goes right along with what are you willing to look stupid for? But I saw a post the other day that really moved me, and it was this child that was crying at a sunset, and the parent was talking about raising a sensitive child and I just loved it. And I made a post about it on social media in my stories on Instagram. And I talked about what if I was told at that age, not by my parents, my parents are great, but what if I was told at that age by other people, the other people that had voices in my life, too, that being sensitive I wasn't too sensitive, right? Like, was anything wrong with me wasn't tough enough? Stop crying.
Rachel Joy Baribeau [00:06:33]:
That my sensitivity and my humongous heart was actually a superpower. Whoo. Try that one on for size. That's a good one. What if your sensitivity is a superpower? So that's part of my personality, it's part of my drivenness, it's part of my passion, it's part of all those things. But all of these things are kind of stirring around in my head and percolating as myself. And I want to give a big shout out to Natasha and Kim and Heather and Allison and then everybody at Revell. And the I'm Changing the Narrative team who is holding down the fort and just making sure all the T’s are crossed and the I's are dotted while I'm off the road for this time until I get back on the road to promote the book, which also helps promote the movement.
Rachel Joy Baribeau [00:07:14]:
And so I just have been thinking about this idea of what are you willing to look stupid for? And I made this video again, I said I've yet to post it and I will at some point, but it talks about how I hope there is something in your life that you're willing to look stupid for. I hope there's something in your life that people like. Let's just say they're scrolling past my social media. Gosh, she's annoying. She's talking a lot about her book. Well, you better dang straight know that I'm talking a lot about my book. You know why? Because start to finish, it two and a half years. You know why? Because I prayed for this as I talked about in the last podcast, I prayed for this opportunity.
Rachel Joy Baribeau [00:07:51]:
And no, I don't get tired of doing podcast and guesting and doing these things because I prayed for this opportunity, right? And so I just want you to be thinking about that. What in your life? Are you willing to look stupid? For what are you willing in your life to be annoying to people about? I would much rather, and I say this in the book I would much rather feel too much and have the sensitive heart than not feel enough or not be in touch with my emotions. And maybe that's an invitation for you to get in touch with your emotions and to get into therapy or talk to people or whatever that may be. I recently visited a college and worked with a player there that told me that he had and I'm not going to go into it because I don't want him to recognize himself in this, but the ambiguous details were that his father had done something wrong and they had not been on good terms for a really long time. And we began to talk about the bricks in his life and the walls and how he was showing up in his relationship with his girlfriend and how the feelings with the father also affected the relationship with the girlfriend, how he's showing up every day. And I asked him, if you died tomorrow, would you want to be loved for who you really are and seen for who you really are and be able to speak and share your true feelings? And he said, yes. And I got to tell you this, this was in the middle of 100 men. 100 men.
Rachel Joy Baribeau [00:09:15]:
This happened. And I was brought into this college to talk about relationships. It's always intertwined. You all know me. If you've listened to this podcast before, this is definitely what's going on in my life and what's happening, but this is all intertwined. I want you to think about what you're willing to look like a fool for. I spent too much time away from my family, too many lonely nights, too many missing sporting events and missing family dinners and all of those things because writing is lonely. Not to give this my all, not to give it my everything, right? My everything.
Rachel Joy Baribeau [00:09:52]:
And I don't want to look back in my life and say, I did it halfway. I was scared. I sat on the sidelines. No, I want to arrive and I've said this in previous podcasts, I want to arrive in heaven, dusty and kind of beat up, and I want God to say, “You kept me busy, girl. You kept me busy. You let me use you,” and that's what I want to do, right? And so if I'm stirring something up inside of you, it's with good reason. It's because there's something that you should be willing to look like a fool for. I don't care if you think I am annoying.
Rachel Joy Baribeau [00:10:35]:
I don't care if you think I post about it a lot, because guess what? This book is not for me. It's not for my personal adulation. It's not my personal ego. It's that I know I was called I said it like that on purpose to write this book, and I was called to tell these stories, and I didn't go through all this pain for nothing, and I was supposed to share it with somebody. And the early reviews, people are telling me that, like, I so resonated with this, and this mattered to me. And I saw myself here with you in this part. I just did a podcast with a gal named Jamie, and she said, we're all going to die. Duh.
Rachel Joy Baribeau [00:11:16]:
This is what I wrote in the book. We're all going to die. Duh. But your life will live on beyond you, your ripple, the difference that you make. And so it's interesting to me to do these different podcasts and have people hit me on different parts of the book that I wrote that one person likes this part or one person identified with this part, and there's still chapters of the book that I haven't even had people bring up yet. And so I'm so excited about that because I think every chapter is great, right? I wrote it, and I'm so excited about that. And so I just want to encourage you today as we are just chatting today, me and you. Hey, boo.
Rachel Joy Baribeau [00:11:55]:
How you doing? How you doing, good looking girl? Boy, you are fine. You are gorgeous. Anybody told you that today? Oh, yes, you are beautiful. You're beautiful because your soul is beautiful. You're handsome because your soul is handsome. And just want to remind you that. But if I'm stirring something up inside you today, it's by design. It's that I've kind of thrown off this idea of worrying about.
Rachel Joy Baribeau [00:12:25]:
And I return to it every now and then of worrying about what people are thinking and saying, oh, they think I'm stupid or I'm posting a lot about it or whatever, and you'll see me post about different content and other things we're doing. But I am sure every single day, I am sure talking about this book, because, like I said, I spent too much on it, and it was too hard. And somebody asked me the other day, this seems like this was really hard to write. I said it was hard and heartbreaking and heart making all at the same time. Like, wow. And so, yeah, that's it. And that's my question to you today, is what are you willing to look like a fool for? Write it down. Put it in your journal.
Rachel Joy Baribeau [00:13:07]:
Have you joined the Joystarters Club, by the way? Joystartersclub.com, I am just plugging this one, because it's my baby. Two, because you get these awesome little inspirational little texts that come to your phone, the challenge each month, and you also get a physical old school journal to write in. Not a digital journal, everything's digital. An actual old school journal to write in and the price is about to go up. I've been saying this, it's because I'm sending out things beyond the original once a month meeting the inspirational messages in the journal. You are also going to be getting things, getting a box, like pretty much quarterly. And right now, we're sending out these awesome buttons that say Joystarter, #Joystarter on them. We're sending out bracelets so that you can give away your Joy.
Rachel Joy Baribeau [00:13:58]:
And the legend of the button goes like this. And the reason why I'm telling you about the button and about the Joy Starters Club is because it also relates to the Influencer boxes that I'm sending out. And if you're not in the book world and so many things are new and very interesting to me that I did not know anything about now that I'm in the book world. And one of those is an Influencer Box. And so if anybody ever asked to send you an Influencer Box, it means they think you're really special. So I've asked like 40 of my friends, can I send you these Influencer boxes? And will you talk about on your social media? Will you share with your email list? Will you read a chapter to will you write an endorsement that I can use? And so that then takes the book and spreads it to different audiences that I would not have access to otherwise, right? Like, they may not ever know who I am. And so inside those, the Influencer box is the book is a pack of three of these buttons to be able to keep one and give one away. And then there's also I think I told you the story a couple of weeks ago, but I'll reshare for somebody who is happening upon this podcast today for the first time.
Rachel Joy Baribeau [00:15:01]:
Hello, how are you? Is the tea, High Garden Tea company. Check it out online. High Garden Tea Company. Leah is in the book. She is one of the owners of High Garden. And every time you buy a bag of tea, they save 1 forest. They are handcrafted by Master Herbalists. They don't use chemicals.
Rachel Joy Baribeau [00:15:22]:
It's just amazing. It's handmade. They're saving the world. They're saving the planet. They're so intentional. And you can use these huge tea bags over and over again multiple times. So much different than anything you buy in the store. So go check them out.
Rachel Joy Baribeau [00:15:37]:
She's in the book, but she also handcrafted a Joystarter tea. A Joystarter tea. What? Like and there's a Joystart at the end of each chapter in the book. So you got the tea, the book and these buttons. And what's the legend of the button? The legend of the button is this. And this is going to be in my next book. And so I want to share it with you today. My family's favorite place is Jackson Hole.
Rachel Joy Baribeau [00:16:02]:
It's the greatest place. I moved out there by myself when I was 20. I told you I was going to stop apologizing for getting teary eyed in my podcast, because I'm just a sensitive soul, and it's my superpower, remember? And I moved out there by myself when I was 20, and it was amazing. And then a couple of years later, I convinced my family to go with me, and they fell in love with it, too. And so we would go every summer for about 20 years and a little bit less than that. And so anywho, we've been going, going, going, going all these years. And then my mother passes away four years ago, which was just the anniversary on May 1. And I just can't believe I've been alive for four years without her.
Rachel Joy Baribeau [00:16:44]:
It's just shocking to me. And also, I'm proud of myself, but it's also shocking that I survived. So there's that. So we stayed away for about two years after my mom passed away. And we were terrified. I think my stepdad was terrified. I was terrified. My brother, we just felt like she was going to be too hard.
Rachel Joy Baribeau [00:17:02]:
She wanted some of her ashes spread in those mountains. And so my stepdad and I took a hike one day and found the most beautiful place and left some of her ashes. And then we were there, and we decided to go on her favorite trail. And the most interesting thing happened on this trip, and it was that what I was terrified of was actually not the case at all. Because fear is a liar. Fear sucks, man. Fear can go kick rocks. All the things I was afraid of on this trip, that it would be too hard, was the exact opposite.
Rachel Joy Baribeau [00:17:34]:
She was everywhere. She was on every trail and every flower in every ice cream cone in every place we went. And instead of being hard, it was beautiful. It was beautiful. Beautiful memories. And so we go on our favorite trail, and I see this little girl on the way up, and I smile at her, and she's got this little pin that says kindness on it. And we see her on the way back down, and her and her mom are so cute. And she says, look, it's a big cat, because I was wearing a leopard, like, two piece outfit, like, jogging set.
Rachel Joy Baribeau [00:18:09]:
And I giggled with them, and I was like, as seen in the wild, we're talking. I think we'd stopped to get some water, and we're talking with them, and I ended up remarking on her pin. And her mom looks at her. They look up at each other. I can just remember this now. And mom said you know what? We do. And so the little girl took off the pin and gave it to me, and she said, the legend of the pin goes like this. Somebody comments on it, you have to give it away.
Rachel Joy Baribeau [00:18:34]:
And so I wore that pin for about three days before somebody commented on it. And then I had to give it away. And when starting the Joystarter movement and writing about it in the book, I thought I would love to have a pin. Like a pin, a button that goes on your shirt, your jacket, your backpack, whatever it is. And it's just like the kindness pin, the same legend, that's where it was born. And that is that if somebody comments on it, you have to give it away. And then there's another way of it. And that is if you just want to they didn't comment, but you want to give your joy away.
Rachel Joy Baribeau [00:19:08]:
You want to buy the person's coffee behind you in line, scribble them a note and give them your joy. The joy starter. The whole beginning of that, the genesis of that is somebody who spreads joy, who is joy, who creates joy. That's the joy starter. And so inside those influencer boxes, people are getting the tea, which was a handcrafted for the book, which is still mind blowing, the three joystarter buttons in the book. So it's so cool. The legend is spreading. Secondarily, the Joystarters are also getting that.
Rachel Joy Baribeau [00:19:43]:
They're getting the bracelets and they're getting the pins. So you should join us, by the way, Joystartersclub.com, because it is going up before the book comes out, just FYI. And that's it. That's the podcast this week. That's it. It's a lot of little stories inside this big story. And the big theme this week was, what are you willing to look stupid for? I do want to leave you with one last little thing, and that is that relationships are everything I said in the book connection is the balm of joy. Treat people well.
Rachel Joy Baribeau [00:20:11]:
Treat people well. And you don't do it to get something out of it, but when you do, it always comes back to you treating people well. And conversely, if you treat people like garbage, that always comes back to you too. I have a friend and I worked with him in Atlanta and his name is Mike, and we worked in the media business and the radio business together years ago when I was in Atlanta. And he now works for a huge media conglomeration. That's what I'm going to say. Leave it at that right now. And we circled back around about a year ago and I told him about I'm changing the narrative, the nonprofit arm we have.
Rachel Joy Baribeau [00:20:50]:
And he said, hey, why don't we put this within this media company? And if we end up having a sponsor that's passionate about mental health, they can choose to donate to you guys. I was like, wow, that's amazing. Thank you so much. So I've checked in from time to time, but he just said, hey listen, keep checking in. This is good. It is eventually going to happen. It's just a matter of time, but it is going to happen. I get a call from him this morning out of the blue, and it is not about a sponsor donating, which would be great.
Rachel Joy Baribeau [00:21:19]:
By the way, we have a for profit arm and a nonprofit arm of I'm Changing the Narrative. And if you wanted to donate one, you could help us get these books for the lovelady. The second goal that we're going to do is donating books so that I can take these books into schools and give them away to kids that really want to read them, not just thrown in the back of the car, but the ones that are hungry, not hungry hungry, which is different than hungry to read this book. And so the call this morning was on something different, but it was only something God could do. And it is going to let me just say this cast my voice in this movement far and wide into people with massive audiences. I mean, I'm talking about crazy massive audiences that one day we'll get to, right? Don't you curse your day of small beginnings. I've told you this story before. I have a bracelet that sits next to my desk in my office, and it was the first bracelet I ever made for I'm Changing the Narrative.
Rachel Joy Baribeau [00:22:19]:
And I gave it to Clemson football players, and they ended up just days later, like, 27 days later, 26 days later, winning the national championship. And they ran up and showed me the bracelet on their arm, and God bless it, it was like, rubbing off because it wasn't embossed, and it was a cheap bracelet, and I didn't know any better. And I was just starting out, and I didn't know the difference. And it was like, I'm changing the error, like missing letters. But I look back at it, and I keep it next to me as a reminder of how far I've come. So don't you curse your day of small beginnings. I just want to remind you of that, too. Lots of nuggets here.
Rachel Joy Baribeau [00:22:55]:
Lots of nuggets in these podcasts. And he called this morning and introduced me to somebody and offered something that is going to blow the lid off from an exposure media element to I'm changing the narrative. And I just, wow. And there are moments many times, many, many times where I just look at the sky and say, I know that was you. God, I know that was you. You got to do the work, y'all you got to do the work. Maybe it's calling the therapist. Maybe it's forgiving somebody.
Rachel Joy Baribeau [00:23:31]:
Maybe it's learning a new skill. Maybe it's being sick and tired of being sick and tired of doing and taking the next step or taking a shower today or whatever it is. You got to do the work. But, yeah, that was a blessing, and I can't wait to share more. And it never, ever would have happened if I had not had this relationship with Mike. And Mike made it happen. And he called me this morning with this other person on the phone, and I could just almost feel him beaming in the background. He made this happen, and I told him and the other gentleman on the line, good people find good people like souls.
Rachel Joy Baribeau [00:24:11]:
Find like souls. So let me just encourage you today to treat people well. If there's something you need to fix, if there's something you need to mend, if you need to go apologize to a coworker or apologize to your kid, I'm just a bonus mom. And I'm not downing myself or saying just I'm saying I am a bonus mom. I make it a point to regularly apologize to my kids and tell them when I screw up or when I fail or when I didn't do something that I asked them to do. And so I'm being hypocritical in that way. I make it a point to apologize to my kids all the time. Sometimes you need to apologize, right? So people, relationships, they are everything.
Rachel Joy Baribeau [00:24:49]:
And so today, you're walking away from this pod thinking about what is it that you're willing to look annoying for like a fool for? Because you don't want to get to the end of your time. The expiration date. On that project or whatever and regret and wish you would have gone for it. Wish you would have asked. Wish you would have sent the email. I'm in this place where I'm just audaciously asking. The worst is people can say no to me. That's it.
Rachel Joy Baribeau [00:25:13]:
Worst is people just say no to me. Say no. Can't do it. And of the 40 influencers I asked, 39 said yes, and one was a hybrid. No. She just said, I'll buy the book. I'll share it. I adore you.
Rachel Joy Baribeau [00:25:25]:
I just can't be held to a list of deliverables, which I'm asking them to share it on their socials and share it with their email list and write an endorsement. She's got a lot going on, and I love those boundaries, and that's what I told her. I love your boundaries. Right. So what are you willing to look like a fool for? What are you willing to go all in for? And relationships are the balm of joy. Relationships, connection are the balm of joy. I wrote that in the book. Go mend your relationships.
Rachel Joy Baribeau [00:25:53]:
Go make them better. Today. My friend Natasha, who works for the movement, was talking about in her day job that today she was interviewing people for jobs. And I said, man, what I wouldn't have given to be interviewed by you. She's got such a bold, amazing, sweet spirit. She's such a healer. She's so wise that, yeah, I was like, whoo whoever's coming in her office to get interviewed today, they just hit the jackpot of being interviewed by her because she sees the best in everybody and sees potential in people. So, yeah, there is a lot to this.
Rachel Joy Baribeau [00:26:26]:
Today. I dropped a lot on you, and that is with intention. That's what I wanted to talk about today. So Joystarters Club, want to join the book launch club. We'll put that link there, too. And just go be great today. Go and think and marinate on what it is you're willing to look stupid for and go just stoke that connection, the balm of joy, the people in your life.
Rachel Joy Baribeau [00:26:50]:
I love you guys so much. I'm so thankful for you. And just keep watching and please keep sharing and keep praying. And I thank you for everything. I thank you for everything that you're doing, every ounce of support, every attagirl, every reshare, every pray, everything that all the reviews, I'm getting them. And I thank you from the bottom of my heart. Love you guys.
